A New Life

It is starting to get dark. It has been another event day, and just like yesterday I barely managed to survive. It has only been two days since I met Milly yet I already faced death more times than when I was back at Avalon. Or maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit. If it comes to facing death, I think Imanji has given me his fair share of experience as well. But this is really the first time, I felt like I was on my own if worst were to come. Milly has been saving me for a while now but for some reason, it didn't feel like she completely covered for me. I don't blame here though. She seems quite reserved and I'm surprised she helped me so many times thus far, to be honest.

I suddenly hear Milly start talking again. This time it seems meant for the guards near us. She mentions how the guards should go to sleep, but then corrects herself telling them to go home. It is that safety part that once again gets me. Why do people have to fear their life for simply returning home? That chief did mention that they were looking for Milly as he saw the hat, but why kill potential allies for that? If lives are thrown away like that I simply can't let that slide. After the soldiers agree to return home, Milly gets up before getting back to her spot sitting down. She seems to have put her hat back on, which sparks a sense of familiarity which goes to show much that hat fits her. Seeing her curled up like that make me worry though.

"Milly... are you sure... you shouldn't join them? I sounded they like... they could use your help. You don't need to stay here. Give it... a couple more minutes. And I should be able to move... just fine."

Though the aching sensation hasn't quite left yet, I'm not lying. My effects of the drug are slowly fading away, as I start to get some feeling back to some parts of my body. With some effort, I manage to lift my arm up to show Milly that I will be fine.

"... I am sure. I told them that they should prevent getting seen tonight. I will go help them tomorrow. Even though you say you feel better you don't look ready yet to protect yourself if something were to happen. You should just rest until tomorrow. "

Not like I am a good help to him, but I can try warning him at least if something happens or try to get him somewhere safe... Like I am strong enough to carry him... *sign*.

I then suddenly get a light dizzy spell, causing me to remember that I haven't eaten in a while. That goes for Atom as well of course! I run to his backpack. He still had a portion for one person. I grab that and rush back to Atom, but stop a little before, remembering the scene from just a few hours ago. For only a second my eyes go back to the body of the chief that is now underneath the sheet I placed over him, but my eyes quickly return to Atom. And while staying on a little distance I push the food and water to him.

"Can you eat and drink already?"

(If Atom offers the food or water to Milly or suggests to share she will refuse.)

Milly doesn't seem quite convinced by my display of recovery. Not seeing much point of keeping my arm raised I drop it back to ground. She seems convinced that I am still in danger despite the fact that I haven't seen any dangerous animals in de the area ever since we went to the village. If she is referring to the village then that too, sounds odd as the one that could have killed me gave up on their chance to do so when they left for the village. I feel bad keeping her here, especially since she seems somewhat distressed. I would have ordered her to leave, but apparently that doesn't seem to work, which I guess is a good sign. The village however seems be all but bad news. The dark ideas I was conjuring last time I was moving towards the village are starting to surface again as Milly once again says some ominous things regarding the village. At this point, I am mentally too tired to argue about it though so I simply let it slide. That village definitely needs a thorough investigation, but I will get to that once I can move again.

Out of nowhere Milly suddenly get up as she searches my bag for something. After a while she return with a can of food in one hand and a bottle water in the other. She offers it to me once again proving in my mind that she's good at heart. I laugh it off in my mind as her actions kind of betray her own desires a bit.

"You know, it isn't quite polite to go through other people personal belongings. But still, I already mentioned before that, that food and water is for you. With the medicine I took, that food would be wasted on me anyway."

As I offer her the food and water back, she refuses it. I sigh in the back of my mind as was sort of expecting that. Trying to find a way to change the subject a bit I suddenly remember something.

"Say, you mentioned before that people never remember your name, right? Why? I mean that guy kept referring to you as a monster but even then he could still have known your name right. It is because if someone knew you were named Milly they will eventually get cursed?"

That last part I say in a joking manner in a sad attempt to try to make the subject a bit lighter.

As I offer the food and water Atom reminds me that I was rummaging through his belongings without asking. Aah! I am messing up again! I bow down to the ground.

"I am sorry!"

He then mentioned that the food would be wasted on him because of the medicine. I don't really understand what he means with that. But maybe he needs to wait a bit longer. He then tries to offer it to me, but before he even finishes talking I refuse and push it back to him while keeping my distance.

"When I go help those guards tomorrow I will look for something. I can handle it. I don't know what the chief told you in the time I was unconcious, but it sounds like he told you that I am not human, so I don't really need food that badly."

I look down as I said that. I am still waiting for him to react to that. I lied to him this whole time after all... But instead of getting mad for that he starts to talk about my name.

"Names are important to humans as far as I understood. Humans use it when they respect each other and see each other as equal. However I am a monster. There is no need for people to use my name. I exist purely to serve humans and I can respond to anything. A lot of my previous masters never even asked for my name and thus never even knew it. The chief knew my name, but there is no reason for him to use it as I just needed to serve his friend and he got permission to give me orders too, so I served him too. Even though he never was my official master so the pact didn't force me to do so. My real master often did force me though if I didn't listen to the chief hehe."

I took a while but I finally manage to move again. I can't say the pain is completely gone, but being able to move again is more then I can ask for at this point. After having laid down on the ground for several hours I sit up straight. I slowly start to stretch, which gives an odd sensation, both satisfying and painful.

I turn back to Milly who almost drops to the ground just to apologize. I was only joking but seeing her take it this serious I start to feel kind of bad. I wave my hands and smile awkwardly to signal that it is quite alright. After I try and offer her the food again she refuses once again. She then tells she doesn't need food, because she isn't human. I believe she mentioned something like that before. The chief was also hammering that message home when I faced him. Hearing it again leaves a bad taste in my mouth as I start mumbling without realizing it.

"Human huh... What makes us really human. As far as I can tell you are as much of a human as I am. You experience joy, fear, anxiety, excitement, right? Hah, don't we call these things "human" emotions. So don't let others convince of anything else."

After my remark about her name she explains how up till this point, nobody bothered to remember her name, which is sad to hear. Another thing that really sticks out is her story about her master. I guess that chief really wasn't Milly master after all. Immediately new questions about her true master start to pop inside my mind. I want stay optimistic and think that her true master would treat Milly better, but after experiencing how everyone is treated at her village I can't help but fear the worst.

"Names are important to us. It gives us our identity. And taking the trouble to memorize ones name show that you care. That is why I will remember your name Milly. It's because I care."

I feel a bit relieved as Atom sits up again giving me the idea he is feeling better then before. It seems he can speak better again as well. But me human? He does need more rest after all. Human emotion? I don't have anything like that. I don't understand anything about... anything actually.

He then starts talking about remembering my name. Why would he go through that trouble? I don't understand. If he wants to be my new master then why does it matter?

"If you just..."

Before I finish my sentence I hear rustling from the bushes. Did they find us?! I didn't even notice it! And like the other times I again position myself between Atom and the new presence. I grab a stick from the ground hoping it will scare the attacker. I control my breathing as the new presence shows itself... What is that? It doesn't matter what it is I have to protect Atom. I keep the stick in front of me.

"I can fight! Don't come closer!"

I do everything I can to keep focussed and as the furry creature moves a bit to the left I move with it, so it can't suddenly jump at Atom. I feel myself trembling a bit. This thing looks quick. And maybe it has sharp teeth and claws like the wolf from before. I have no clue about what it is capable of. Atom protected me as well I have to show that I am not just a weight to him. I can protect him too.

(The attacker is just a passing rabbit.)

After mentioning the part about her name she once again seems somewhat troubled. As she is about to speak up she suddenly stops. Did something happen? She suddenly stands up and repositions herself after which she picks up a stick. She seems somewhat unstable on her feet. She then yells out most likely indicating someone is coming.

It doesn't take long before something emerges from the bushes ahead. My hearing probably still hasn't recovered fully yet, because I failed to notice it at all. The thing that emerges seems to be a rabbit, simply moving around. Not really worth calling a treat, yet Milly still seems to be on high alert. Does she think this rabbit will attack us? If this were a joke I could have somewhat been entertained, but sadly Milly probably does think this animal is dangerous. I also slowly get back to my feet before moving over to Milly. Gently trying to place my hand on hers, in an attempt to lower her stance. I shake my head with a gentle smile.

"It won't do anything, Milly. In fact, if your nice and careful it might even let you pet it. I believe they have a nice fur to touch"

As I try to protect Atom I suddenly feel a tap on my shoulder causing me to jump a little. But after taking a deep breath I calm down again. Every time he touches me I see the color red in front of me. It's not that I think he did anything bad necessarily. This is how the world works after all, but I wish it just wouldn't...

"It really won't do anything?"

I lower the stick again as Atom softly presses it down, but I also move a step back to create some distance between us again, while keeping my eye on the little creature, because I still feel a bit wary about it, but also to avoid eye contact. I lower myself a bit to have a better look at the creature. It doesn't seem like it has sharp teeth or claws, but humans don't have that either and they can fight as well. It seems like the creature is looking back at me.

"Have you touched one of these creatures before? What is it called?"

It is still sitting there. It isn't moving just looking back at me. It looks like a little ball of hair with ears sticking out of it. It is actually quite cute now that I can look at it calmly. It's breathing increased. It is scared of me? I walk a few steps back as it seems to want to run.

Milly seems on edge again and quickly takes a step back. Her demeanor reminds me of how she was back when we first met. That isn't necessarily a bad thing, but she still is willing to talk at the very least. She asks question pretty much confirming the idea I initially had. I glance over at the rabbit who seems to staring at Milly.

"Nah, they won't do you any harm. They are probably more scared of you then you are of them. It is probably just looking for some food."

Animals are quite perceptive of others emotions. Milly seemed quite scared and she probably still is, which the rabbit is most likely picking up. I carefully approach the rabbit making sure not to make any sudden movements. When I'm close enough I try to lift up and hold in it my arms, for Milly to take a closer look.

"There, there. Guess there is a first time for everything. This a called a rabbit, Milly. Care to pet its head?"

As I day that I gently pet its head, showing Milly how to do it.

*It the rabbit flees, Atom will still tell that it is a rabbit, but will simply tell that they are shy animals.

"So it is hungry?"

I instictively look around me, but we don't have anything apart from the can from Atom, but that is for Atom himself. I feel a bit bad for the little creature though...

He tells me I can pet it. I think I haven't touched an animal since my parents died except for that wolf that jumped on top of me, but that is different. But it looks really fluffy. So it is called a rabbit? I am going to try to remember the names of all animals this time, as I forgot the ones that I saw with my parents...

"Is it really okay?"

I look at Atom for a response, but he simple nods. I then reach out my hand towards the rabbit and with my fingertips I touch it. It really is fluffy. I can't feel it with my whole hand because of my gloves, but just with my fingers is alright. It seemed to be a bit scared at first, but it seems to relax a bit now and with that I feel myself relax as well.

(If Atom reacts differently I will adapt to that.)

Carefully I manage to lift the rabbit off its feet as I present it Milly. After I offer her to pet the rabbit, she hesitates for a bit. I was expecting as much so I reassure her that everything is alright. She slowly reaches out to the rabbit before petting it. As her hand approaches, I can feel the rabbit moving slightly in my arms, almost in an attempt to get away. I quickly adjust my weight accordingly to prevent it from falling. It sure took a while but it good to know that my body is functioning well again.

While Milly is petting the rabbit I can't help but look at Milly. Like before she seems far more relaxed compared to moments ago. It's an odd thing to see indeed. Someone so oblivious to the world to fear every animal that comes across her path, yet is willing to protect the most savage one of them all. After getting lost in thought for a while I shake my head to return back to reality.

"Anyway Milly, it is time we let it go again. It has things to do after all and so do we."

As I say that my expression turn more serious as I look towards where the village should be located.

As Atom says we should let it go I feel a bit sad, but he is right.

"I hope he has a big family and that a lot of food is waiting for him back home."

Atom then let's go of the rabbit and it goes back in the forest without looking back.

"It is time for you to go to sleep. I can keep watch and wake you up when something happens."

To be honest I am not feeling too well as I am tired as well and pretty hungry as well, but I can keep going for one more night. Atom needs to fully recover. He does seem to be feeling a lot better, but still he should rest for a bit.

"When the morning comes I will go help those guards out for a bit. You can stay here then."

After Milly got the chance to pet the rabbit for a while, I gently put it down. As soon as I let go it runs off through the bushes into the vast forest. It was fun witnessing a rabbit in real life for once. Not just for Milly. I stare into the direction the rabbit went for a while before turning back to Milly. She gives the bunny her best wishes, which once again gets me thinking about why she doesn't seem to wish that for herself every once in a while. She seems a bit sad after all.

Milly quickly jumps to the next topic regarding our next course of action. She however suggest we should go to sleep. Or to be more specifiek, that "I" should. I can't argue that it has been a while that I had some rest. During the aftermath of the drug that I took, I can't really say that I got actual rest. What bugs me though is that Milly doesn't seem to include some rest for herself as she then mentions that she will go after those guards from before. Arguing with her here probably won't result in much so for now, I will comply. I just need to make sure to wake a little earlier so I can offer her some rest as well. She needs rest too after all.

"Fine, I'll get some sleep. I leave this for you. You still haven't eaten so far right? Make sure it's empty when I wake up. If you truly want to be of any help to those guards you need all the energy that you can get."

I shove the can of food from before in front of her. And before she gets the chance to argue I lay down in an attempt to sleep, ignoring any objections.

He seems to agree and go to sleep, but before that he says he stoves the can with food towards me and tells me to eat it.

"B-But... but..."

He doesn't react anymore. I look at the can in front of me. What do I do now? That is Atom's. Tomorrow I can retrieve the bag that I prepared for Atom, but getting that close to the village tonight is dangerous. But what if Atom gets hungry tonight? I keep looking at it with a difficult face. Wait he said that he wanted me to have energy for helping the guards. Then that means that eating would help him as well as wanted me to eat for a purpose, right? I feel like not eating would upset him as well with the way he said it. But it eating it feels bad as well. I keep just staring at the can a little longer, it might be longer than a little, I have no clue about the amount of time, but after that I decide to listen to him and open it, but I immediately feel bad about it. In the end I decide to eat it. I don't feel particularly good about it, but it does lessen the hunger I was feeling. After eating I keep looking around me if I can find more animals moving around, but it is the same as last night. The flying creatures that I remember as birds. I barely remember any animals from back when I was still with my parents, but birds were very common even then so I remember that the big flying animals are called birds en the very tiny creatures are insects, but I remember them having individual names as well which I don't remember.

Unlike last night I manage to stay awake and wait for the sun to come up again.

After several hours of sleeping I naturally wake. I wasn't expecting anything different as this happened the last time as well. This drug sure has some pesky side effects indeed. No wonder it was banned. Either way I slowly sit up straight, only to find out it's quite dark. It must be really late now. Still a bit drowsy I glance over at Milly who still is sitting nearby. I then gloss over the can of food I offered her. A satisfying grin appears on my face after seeing that the can is empty. I then look over at Milly who seems to looking around.

"H-Hello Milly. What are you doing?"

I rub my eyes in an exaggerated motion and then attempt to do the impossible.

"I've had my rest for now Milly. Best to take a rest as well Milly. I'll take over taking watch."

I then notice a rather strange animal. It seems like a creature that is half bird and half insect as it seems to have features from both. I try to get a bit closer, but it flies away as I do that. I try to follow it with my eyes, but then it suddenly lands on Atom's shoulder. Maybe the creature likes humans? It has a really relaxing aura surrounding it. It doesn't seem dangerous at least, I hope. I move a bit closer to Atom to look at the creature again, and also make sure it isn't dangerous to Atom, but the moment I get closer to Atom he suddenly wakes up.

"Exshi... I mean 'aahh'."

As Atom's sudden movement makes me jump I suddenly make a noise that I shouldn't. I sounds really unnatural when I add that later on.

"I was just looking at that animal."

I point at the strange, yet beautiful creature that is now flying off in the distance. Atom then starts talking again.

"But it isn't morning yet. You should sleep some more. You need more rest."

(The creature is a butterfly)

As I wake up only to hear Milly make some noise. After rubbing my eyes she answers my question. She mentions that she was looking at some animals and then points towards its location. A bit slow on the uptake it takes a second for me to process that and after some delay, I look in the direction she is pointing. The animal in question is probably pretty small or really fast because by the time I get myself to look I can't really see something that looks like an animal in the direction Milly is pointing.

I start to wonder what it was, but since it gone now, I probably won't be able to find out anyway. I awoke and tried but like I was expecting Milly keeps insisting that I need more sleep instead. This makes it mind zero, instinct thousand. I lost track, but so far following my instinct has always worked out better in the end for me. I take a few seconds to gather my mind before speaking again.

"I'm afraid that won't be possible. Earlier I took something that prevents me from getting any more sleep then I just did. My body is mostly healed, but getting a decent rest, for now, is pretty difficult. Well enjoying the evening sky can also be relaxing in and of itself. It has been ages since I've heard the crickets sing in the night."


I close my eyes as I try and focus on any sounds in my surrounding. I've come to realize that the sound of crickets is something you need to notice first before you can actually listen to it.

"So you can't sleep anymore? Isn't that bad for you? Why would you take something like that? When can you rest again? Do you need some medicine?"

I start nervously moving around a bit as if I try to do something while I have no clue what to do. Should I try to retrieve the bag I had for Atom after all. I put some medicine things in there. However Atom seems pretty calm about it all. Does the singing of these so-called crickets do that? What does that even mean? I try to do the same as Atom and listen to these crickets. I hear all kinds of sounds. I have been out now for a few days, but I still am amazed by all these smells and sounds around me that I haven't sensed for the last years. But which sounds are from the crickets. I have heard humans sing before, but I don't hear anything like that. However I don't want to disturb him from listening. Maybe it is a sound only humans can hear? I look a bit around as if I expect to suddenly see these crickets. But even if I did I have no clue what I am looking for.

I know Atom wants me to sleep and if he can't sleep then it would be best if I did. Also because it would be better if I feel awake when I help other, but even knowing that I feel bad about it. It feels like I make Atom take care of me. I already ate his food which I still feel bad about, but I get the feeling that if I apologize for it Atom will get mad at me.

Milly suddenly bombards me with a load of questions, bringing me back to the here and now. Her questions hit home hard, is taking the drug isn't really a good thing when you consider all the side effects. "I was getting desperate" is probably too late to use as an excuse at this point. But in a way, I really didn't have a chance a choice and if I could go back I would probably do the same. I scratch the back of my head a bit embarrassed as my brain once again works overtime to formulate a good answer. Milly starts to pacing around, clearly overthinking things again.

"Say Milly... Why don't you sit down so we can enjoy the night sky with me for now? You probably won't get any sleep like that anyway so we might as well enjoy this peaceful evening while it last, right?"

I tap the ground indicating that she can sit. After tapping the ground I look up into the evening sky, simply trying to enjoy the wind blowing through my hair.

"Sit down?"

Was I annoying him? I am not really sure, but better do as he says. I shouldn't have pryed like that. I sit down a little bit besides him holding my knees. Without saying anything after that he looks up at the sky, so I do the same. There is a lot of light up there. If think those things where called stars. I used to look at them often. My dad used to tell stories about them, but I don't think I remember anything at all about it. This was all before I started to work for humans and now that I haven't had a pact for multiple days it almost feels like I am back to that time.

"Is it ... okay to just ... like this? Shouldn't ... go back to my master as ... supposed to? Or should I ... new ..."

I have never been in a situation like this in a long time and as I exist for the sake of serving humans it feels strange to be just sitting here enjoying nature around me without a pact that binds me. I feel a bit nervous after all.

(The last thing she says she is saying very softly. She isn't aware of saying it out loud.)

I glance at the stars just taking in the scenery. The sky, filled with stars, make it a spectacle to behold. Just looking at it almost makes me forget about my worries or the difficulties that still lie ahead. Milly sits down still coiled up, but eventually, she too looks up at the sky. We both sit on the cold and hard ground quietly, as I enjoy the view, simply hoping she is doing the same. Moments pass as Milly suddenly speaks. It hard to make out what she is saying as she seems to mutter under her breath. Knowing her she is probably worried about something. Most likely about if she is allowed to relax like this or something. I try to think of some ways to ease her worries or convince her that she should be fine, but come up short. Either way, I doubt she will just accept it anyway. In the end, I start to recall past events before I started this journey and start mumbling unconsciously to myself

"It's been a year, yet the sky still looks just as beautiful. I guess I won't be returning just yet. But I guess... it isn't that bad."

After just looking up at the sky for some time Atom starts talking again.

"Even though the sky keeps changing it is still the same sky as it was hundreds of years ago. The color changes everyday and the stars make space for new ones. The sky watches over everyone and has the ability to connect the past with the present and even the future."

Just looking at the stars make me remember times that I did that with my father. It makes me connect with the past.

"You can go back home when there is light again. I already prepared everything you need. However after everything that happened I couldn't get it to you yet... I am sorry for that... I will retrieve it all when the sun comes up again."

Milly suddenly speaks again, this talking a bit philosophically. Her speech catches me a bit by surprise as I didn't really think of her as that type of person. She way she says it though makes me wonder if it is something she heard from someone before. And if that were the case I wonder who said it. I clearly can't be the ones she staying with right now. They don't seem to care about Milly one bit.

Not long after that, she mentions about me going home again. Apparently, she really did recover some supplies for me. She seems determined to get them when the day strikes. She also seems dead set on sending me home, but after all that's happened, I am all the more determined to figure what going on in that village of her.

"I'm afraid after all that has happened I can't and "won't" just leave. At this point it, not a matter of wanting to go back or not anymore. I made a vow when I left my village to give aid wherever I could and never abandon people in need. I've done so throughout my journey and I will not stop here."

"But this village is dangerous for you as you already noticed. The chief was the strongest as far as I know, but there are many capable fighters in the village. Are you really sure this is the best decision?"

After the fight with the chief I was already afraid that he would die, but he now wants to continue that? On the other hand if he leaves I will have to decide as well whether to accept Atom as my new master or go back to the village. Atom did say that he wanted to become my next master and normally I would just accept that, but I still feel insecure about just having walked away from my last master. That was a bad choice as well.

I have had this discussion with myself a hunderd times already. I should know by now that I can't find an answer for myself, so maybe I should stop trying to do that.

"Hey Atom... During the fight with the chief... you said you wanted to be my new master. Did you... really mean that?"

"Even if there were stronger fighters, I will never forgive myself if I walked away now, knowing I could have helped when people are in danger. You keep saying it right? That the village is in danger. That is all the more reason as to why it couldn't hurt for me to help."

Although Milly's warning makes me hesitate at first, I quickly set my concerns aside because there is no turning back. That chief from before was quite the challenge indeed. Hearing that he was the strongest gives me a sense of relief. The unfortunate news however that more skilled fighters are in the villages won't make this easy. I clench my fist as if to fire myself up. This will most likely be my last mission before I will return to my village. I just need to make sure I won't be my last. As I try to psych myself up I suddenly hear Milly again, this time a bit shyer than before. Her question catches me a bit off-guard. My brain quickly goes overtime to come up with a good response, but in the end, I can't help but simply tell her the truth and simply hope for the best.

"Hmm, I would say yes and no. I don't want to be your master but I want to be a friend. I not even sure what being your master would mean. But seeing you get hurt by someone who called himself your master angered me. You deserve better so if that meant being your master, then I would accept that. If it means you can live your life the way you want, then I would gladly become your master and I would say it again if I need to!"

As my speech is starting to become more personal I find myself standing up straight at the end, not completely sure when I got up.